The girl who lives above me parks beside me and uses a Club. It’s our two cars, married, residing in a small fit of blacktop. Does that mean I should get a Club? It’s hers or mine. And my windows are tinted darker. Could someone even see a Club in there? If her car is older, does that mean it’s more susceptible to theft? I have a funny key system. Is that a deterrent? Will my car get stolen because hers is too much trouble? Will my windows get smashed for the old Sondre Lerche CD in the passenger seat? Wait until the 50th listen. It’s not Jens Lekman.
The Great Lou Rawls.This Song Is Unforgettable.The People Crying Are Models.We’ve All Cried For Love.That’s Why This Song Is So Hard To Forget.Thanks Lou.Your Music Will Live Forever.
I have been painting the kitchen today. I am cognizant I am painting over previously painted wallpaper. It’s probably not going to be the worst. There are only a few places where the wallpaper is peeling off, or falling off, or whatever wallpaper does when it wants to be noticed again. Good fucking luck, wallpaper. I’m just painting on top of you.
This photo is from this one time I went to watch the sunset by myself. I stood around watching other people watching the sunset or their phones or their kids petting other people’s dogs. Then I biked home. Then two hours later what I could see of the sky from behind the neighborhood giants had turned bright orange. How do you know a sunset’s going to be a sunset? And how do you know when it’ll erupt?
It’s summer and it won’t stop drizzling. I think I’m in heaven.
When your teacher asks you to compare cats, dogs, birds, and fish, don’t even think of comparing them in terms of which makes the best pet. That’s way too obvious. Instead, compare them in terms of which makes the best food for humans when roasted, which would provide the most help to a firefighter, or which has the most interesting body-structure for an artist to represent in an oil painting.
— From “A bit of essay advice,” Dorothy Stephens via email to class, April 14, 2004.
I dreamed that I picked up Barack Obama like a new bride and slung him into a swimming pool. He was wearing Wayfarers. When he got out snow overtook the surface of the pool. People were shaking his hand and stroking his face. I asked him if he had gotten used to people wanting to touch him. He said no.
Derk sent me to Readatwork today, which I guess has been around for a while but since I’m in graduate school and not cubicle school, I wasn’t in the WSJ loop back in May, when they ran this piece about a similar site. The comments are especially precious. The utilitarian nature of the complaints lends itself well to understanding how people might convince themselves they’ll never get caught doing whatever they have to do besides cubicle work. If you take a site like this as anything but an experiment in literary form, there is no goddamn telling what else you’ll wholeheartedly believe. But it’s probably something about downloading sex at work without getting caught.
Bling Bling Brazilian Wax also known as a crystal-tattoo bikini wax will make it sparkle! After we remove all the hair and make it bare we will apply a heart, or a butterfly, or your partner’s initials, or whatever shape you desire, made of crystals. The crystal tattoos last about 4-6 days, and are a sure-fire way to surprise that special someone this upcoming holiday season. The “bling after waxing” gives a whole new meaning to “making the holidays shine!”
According to Dannielli, senior esthetician at Suddenly Slimmer Spa aka “The Queen Of Waxing”, brides ask for the crystal tattoos to surprise their husbands on their wedding night. Lately, many soldiers’ wives ask for this service in time for their husbands’ arrivals from the Middle East, usually during the holidays. Nowadays, women ask for it to give something unexpected to their partners “…and some just ask for (the service) to feel like a million bucks!” Dannielli added.
